


Faith

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Big Brother Jack, Bottom Dean, Castiel Returns, Cesarean Section, Coming Untouched, Discussion of Abortion, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mpreg, Nephilim, Oral Sex, Parents Castiel & Dean Winchester, Pregnant Dean, Resurrection, Reunions, Season/Series 13 Spoilers, Supportive Sam, Top Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 15:45:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12634173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: Dean lost his faith in anything when he lost Castiel. When he realizes he's pregnant he has to make a choice to leave it all behind him or find a new faith in being a father.





	Faith

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda sorta Coda to 13x04

Dean laid back on his bed, his hand cradling the slight swell on his lower abdomen. Of course he was pregnant.  _ One hell of a tragic romance you wrote there, Chuck. _ He and Cas had made love the night Cas stole the Colt. And now a week after Castiel’s death he realized that there was a dead man’s child inside him.

 

Another nephilim. Another abomination to be hunted. All because Dean was a carrier and never told anyone. Even Sam didn’t know. Hell, Dean didn’t know until one of his hospital visits. Damn doc told him he’d still be able to have kids like it was nothing, like being able to he wanted to.

 

_ Did _ he want to? He maybe had a couple weeks to decide. He never thought it could happen to him. He never had a plan for this. Dean’s official stance was your body, your decision. But it was  _ his _ body and it wasn’t an easy decision. His head told him the right thing to do was to end it. His heart…

 

His heart wanted...no,  _ needed _ Cas. Dean didn’t want to be alone in this. If Cas was there he’d probably want this more than anything. He’d care for Dean every second of the pregnancy and dote on their child. He could practically hear Cas humming some offbeat song to lull it to sleep.

 

Sam. How would he react? Would he be supportive? They already had a nephilim living with them. Did he have to fear for some sibling rivalry? It was all too much. And he couldn’t drink a drop. What if he’d already drank enough to screw his kid up?

 

“Dean? Sam sent me to tell you that dinner is here. Are you okay?” Jack did Cas’ head tilt. He seemed to look Dean over with intensity. “You have grace?”

 

_ Shit. _ “You can see grace in me?”

 

“Faint. A glimmer. How?” Jack glided over to Dean and had a hand on his stomach before Dean could evade him. “I feel it.” Jack grinned. “I feel a heartbeat.”

 

“Already? I mean...oh fuck. Yeah. I’m pregnant and it’s Cas’.”

 

“I’m a big brother!” Jack was all smiles. Dean could only grimly fake it.

 

“Listen, I just found out about this and I haven't decided what to do yet. I haven’t told Sam or anybody but you. I don’t know if I’m happy about this.”

 

Jack’s smile faded. “I’m sorry. I thought you would be happy to have a part of Castiel with you.”

 

Dean sat up and shielded his stomach from any more touching. “It’s not that simple, Jack. Babies aren’t the cure-all for everything. Having it...it doesn’t change the fact that Cas is gone.”

 

“Not having it doesn’t change that either. But you would have love again.”

 

That stung. Jack was right. He’d felt less...empty, since he found out. But isn’t that selfish? Bringing a child into the world so he wouldn’t be lonely? It wasn’t fair. Still, he could love his kid with all he’s got and break the Winchester curse. Let it be a baby and have a real childhood. Grow up with choices.

 

“Fuck. Go on to Sam. I’ll be there in a minute.” Dean scrubbed his face. This decision was bigger than him. It affected what was left of his family. After chewing Sam’s ass for forcing Jack on him it was only right to include him in a major life change. He went to the kitchen.

 

“Splurged on some Olive Garden. Don’t Bogart the breadsticks,” Sam warned as he set out plates.

 

“That may be a problem seeing as I’m eating for two.”

 

_ Crash. _ The plate hit the floor and shattered. “What?”

 

“Preggo, knocked up, bun in the oven, in the family way.”

 

“Dean...that’s not possible.” Sam’s hands trembled. “You’ve only been with that bartender and unless she was transgender…”

 

“Cas. When he stole the Colt. I told you he came into my room and played me. We slept together and when I nodded off he took the gun from under my pillow.”

 

Sam leaned against the wall and sank down to the floor. “I didn’t know you guys...are you sure? I mean, you just lost him. Your mind could be playing tricks on you.”

 

“I took a couple tests. And Jack confirmed it. He felt the grace. It’s real and definitely Cas’.”

 

“What are you gonna do?”

 

Dean knelt down to clean up the broken plate. “Well, I kind of planned on discussing this over dinner. Jack’s all for it. Wanted you to weigh in on this.”

 

Sam scrambled back up. He zombie-walked to the shelf for another plate and grabbed two beers from the fridge before shaking off the fog and putting one back. He got Dean a bottle of water instead. “It’s your decision, Dean. I can’t tell you what to do with your body. You're my brother and I love you so I’ll support you either way.”

 

“That's the same line I’d give to you. Wait, are  _ you _ a carrier?” Dean piled food on his plate. Jack already devoured half his salad.

 

“I was. But um...it’s not possible anymore.” Sam checked to make sure Jack wasn't looking when he mouthed ‘Lucifer’ to his brother. Dean tensed up at what Sam inferred.

 

“Look, it affects you, too. We’d have another nephilim on our hands. There’d be a crying baby and baby-proofing the place. I’d have to retire and you’d have to train Jack to be a full-time partner.”

 

“Dean, you don’t have to do this alone, you know? I could start up a hub here and be like the new Bobby.”

 

“So...you think I should keep it?” Dean eyed him.

 

“I think...if my opinion matters then yeah. You raised me. You’re a good dad type person to Claire and to Jack. You had…”

 

“Don’t say his name. Please. Okay. Nothing’s final yet. I still got time to think on it. But...thanks.”

 

***

 

“You’re  _ glowing _ !” Sam told Dean when he came back to the motel room with their takeout.

 

“Dude, knock it off. Pregnant people don’t glow.” 

 

Sam pointed. “No, seriously. Your stomach is glowing.”

 

Dean looked down. “The fuck? Jack! Get in here. Something’s going on with the baby!”

 

The young man rushed to Dean and put his hand on the glow. “It’s fine. It wants...its father. I don’t understand. Its reaching out like Castiel is…”

 

“Hello Dean.” All heads turned. It couldn’t be. But there he was, pristine condition despite the weary look on his face. “Dean?” He was drawn to the strange glow. “You’re...you’re with child?”

 

Tears streamed down Dean’s cheeks. His hormones had been turning on the waterworks for him for a few days already. “Y-yours. Oh god Cas is it really you? I-I burned you. Your wings…”

 

Cas swept him up in a hard embrace. “The Empty. I made it spit me out. I’ve traveled for days to get back to you. I felt this pull...I thought it was our bond. Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“I didn’t know, Cas. Not until after you were gone. I almost didn’t…”

 

“I’m glad you did, Dean,” Cas’ hand slipped between them. “We made something beautiful.”

 

The newly reunited couple had been oblivious to the other two in the room until Sam cleared his throat to get their attention. Cas left Dean’s arms to fall into Sam’s for a tender, familial hug. Jack was unsure of seeking one for himself until he felt Cas pull him close.

 

“Father. I called out to you. I tried to bring you back.”

 

“You awakened me. I was meant for eternal sleep. I refused to go back that state and the Empty’s keeper was infuriated by my insolence.”

 

“You  _ annoyed _ your way back from the dead? I think he  _ is _ related to Gabriel,” Dean snarked. Cas rolled his eyes.

 

“Sam, Jack, may I have some time to speak with Dean alone?”

 

“Of course, yeah. Jack, grab one of those sacks of food. We’ll get another room. I think they need time to...nest.” Sam put his arm around Jack and picked up his still packed duffel bag by the door.

 

Once they were alone, Dean sought the comfort of Castiel again. He needed to feel him, hear his breath, everything that proved he was alive and real. He ran his fingers through dark hair and nuzzled into the shoulder of the trench coat. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

 

“I’m here now, Dean. I’m so sorry I hurt you, made you grieve. I shouldn’t have gone after Lucifer. I should have had more faith in you, that your plan would work. I was just so angry at him for all he’d done to us. I let my emotions cloud my judgement.”

 

“It’s called being human, Cas. The night we...the night we conceived we let our emotions take control for once and I’m not sorry that happened. When we talked after...I thought we were moving forward. Then you left me. Twice. I never got to tell you I forgave you. That I still love you.”

 

Cas started to cry. “I love you so much, Dean Winchester. I could have begged for salvation. Instead I demanded to be returned to earth. To  _ you _ . Even before I knew of this child inside you. I have my faith again. It’s in you. In  _ us _ .”

 

“That’s all I ever had faith in. I lost it when you died. I needed a reason to go on and even from beyond the grave you gave that to me. I decided our child was gonna have it better than us. I wasn’t gonna make the same mistakes our fathers did.”

 

Cas marveled at Dean. “You have always been a wonderful father. Before Jack was born I told him how much help I would need from you, how much you could teach us both.”

 

“Cas, am I gonna survive this? I mean, Sam and I figured because we were meant to be vessels we could handle that much grace. I put my faith in being a dad.”

 

“You are correct, Dean. You will survive. And Jack and I will be there to heal you.” He caressed Dean’s face. “I meant everything I said that night. My only deception was to steal the Colt.”

 

Dean took the hand that rested on his belly and brought it up to his lips to kiss the knuckles. “I need you, Cas.  _ All  _ of you. I need you in my bed and at my side. I need you to raise this child with me.”

 

“Tell me what you  _ want _ for once, Dean.”

 

“This.” He brought their lips together. He’d missed this so much, this intimacy between them, the line crossed now far behind them. Warmth spread through him to fill the void of his loss. Every touch from Castiel woke up the dead and numb sensations Dean had been living with for weeks.

 

It wasn’t like the last time. There was no fevered pitch to get to the bed. Layers slid to the floor in a pool around them. Cas dropped to his knees to kiss the tiny swell on Dean’s stomach as he unfastened his belt buckle and unzipped his jeans. 

 

Dean had done this to him the first time. It had brought him so much pleasure, almost to the breaking point. He wanted to give Dean that, make him feel good after the hurt he’d caused. Dean gasped and swayed on his feet when Cas took him in his mouth.

 

Cas felt fingers card through his hair as he bobbed on the length. Dean’s breath got heavier and soft moans came. Cas braced his legs when they seemed to buckle.

 

“Not yet, Cas. Please,” Dean begged. As much as he wanted to come he’d rather wait until they were making love.

 

Cas wiped his mouth and stood. He easily picked Dean up and carried him to the nearest bed. “Do we have anything?”

 

“Uh...probably still have something in my toiletry bag. I haven’t...not since…”

 

Cas kissed him. “It’s alright, Dean. Just relax. I’ve wanted to have you again since the first time.” He went through Dean's things until he found the bottle of lube. He used a sliver of grace to warm it before stroking some onto himself. 

 

With one hand he guided his tip to Dean’s hole and with the other he tapped two fingers to Dean’s forehead. He slid in with ease and with no pain for his lover. Dean held him close and basked in that quiet moment when they were one again. 

 

It was more emotional than physical for Dean this time. He was whole again with Castiel back. His heart and body were full of love and life. As Cas rocked into him he let the tears flow freely. He  _ was _ free. Free from the emotional prison he’d walled himself up in. Free from the doubts he had about giving birth and being responsible for a new life. 

 

Cas kissed the wetness on his cheeks. He kept an intense gaze between them, telling Dean everything without saying a word. Showing him that his own darkness was fading with Dean’s love and faith. Their union was blessed with a child to show for it.

 

Their lovemaking was slow and sweet. Cas couldn’t help but search for the heat of skin like those first comforting rays of sun on his face when he came back. Grace thrummed deep inside him as he edged towards climax. He could feel Dean tensing for release as well.

 

“Come with me, Dean. Let me bring your pleasure,” he whispered. He kissed Dean deeply and made a couple shorter thrusts with his hips. Dean cried out his name and Cas stilled on top of him. He smiled down at his lover. “We’re together. Not even death can truly part us. We’re  _ together _ .”

 

“Together.” Dean smiled back. He let Cas slip out and wave away the mess. He rolled to his side and sighed contently with Cas pressed to his back. He huffed a laugh. “Should we get married or something? Make our kid legit?”

 

“I would never deny my progeny. Even my adopted children.  _ Our _ children now, I suppose. Although Claire is quite the independent young woman and Jack...he may physically have matured but I sense so many childlike qualities in him.”

 

“I was a dick to him. I blamed him for your death. I told him I would end him if he went darkside. I have to be upfront with you about that, Cas. You need to know things have only started getting good between us. But Sam...Sam stepped up when I couldn’t.”

 

Cas squeezed Dean a little. “You didn’t turn him away and for that I am thankful. We will all need to adjust to this instant family. I need to learn to be a father instead of a distant guardian like I was with Claire. You have been more of a father to her. She looks up to you.”

 

“You’re gonna be great, Cas. The most powerful being on earth chose you to be his dad. And when our baby is sick you can heal it. You can hold it and sing to it. You won’t be all bitchy and exhausted like me when we’re up all night for feeding and changing.”

 

“I hope you’re right, Dean.”

 

***

 

Sam and Jack warded the cabin as best they could. The angels had gone silent, probably disregarding Castiel as a bastard in his own right. Mating with a Winchester was the last straw for much of the Host despite the blessing from Chuck. They wouldn’t take any chances, though. Any rogue angel could still be a threat to them.

 

Cas tried to soothe Dean’s pain from labor. His grace only helped so much. “Cas...Cas, please. Cut it out of me, okay? You know how to do a C-section, right? You and Jack can heal me. Please. I can’t do this,” Dean begged him. Sam shook his head.

 

“You  _ can _ do this. You survived forty years in hell. You can have a baby.”

 

“Fuck you, Sam. The grace is fucking burning me. It wants out. Cas, please,” he pleaded again.

 

“Alright. Okay. Jack, I need you to hold Dean’s hand. You need to use your grace to numb the pain and then don’t let go. He needs you to heal. Sam, I will cut but I need your hands to get the baby out. Can you do that?”

 

He’d been wrist deep in worse things than his brother’s stomach. “Okay. Just pull the baby out.”

 

Dean nearly passed out during his last contractions. He held tight to his stepson’s hand and let the grace slowly turn off his nerve endings. Cas conjured his angel blade and made the first incision into to skin. He made another into the womb the pulled the cut wide enough for Sam to get in. 

 

The younger Winchester felt for legs and tugged the child free. He grabbed the cord and removed the placenta as well. Cas cauterized the cord with his grace and suctioned her airways until she cried out. Dean’s open wound knit itself back together.

 

“The baby? It’s okay?” Dean tried to lift his head.

 

Cas cleaned her off and swaddled her in a clean towel. “She’s perfect, Dean.” He kissed her forehead and handed her over.

 

“We have a girl?” Dean looked her over. “Hi, babygirl. I’m your Daddy. You’re so beautiful. Isn’t she beautiful?”

 

Sam scrubbed his hands with another towel. “She is, Dean. You did good.”

 

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Sammy. Maybe you should go back to school to be a midwife,” Dean joked.

 

“One time digging in your guts is enough for me.”

 

“You wanna hold your baby sister, Jack?” 

 

“I don’t know how to-" the bundle was placed in his arms. He smiled at her. “What’s her name?”

 

Dean and Cas looked at each other. They never really decided on names. Cas wanted to stay biblical and he was more open to conventional names.

 

“You remember that girls’ school musical case? You said they combined Dean and Castiel to...Deanstiel...no... _ Destiel _ . How about that?” Sam suggested.

 

“I like that,” Cas agreed. “Dean?”

 

He was in no condition to argue. “Here’s to a lifetime of never finding a keychain with your name on it. Destiel Celeste Winchester.”

 

“Celeste?” Cas looked confused but Sam smiled.

 

“It was Charlie’s real name. It’s perfect, Dean.”

  
Yeah, for one tiny moment in their lives, everything was perfect.


End file.
